None of us like adversity.
Given a choice, we’d all prefer to say “NO.”
We’d like life to stay as it is, or as we imagine it could be.
So when hard stuff happens, we ask ourselves unhelpful questions.
- “Why me?”
- “How come this always happens to me?”
And we tell ourselves,
- “It’s not fair.”
When we do this, we are letting adversity take control of our lives.
But … what if adversity was actually useful?
What if we didn’t have to bow down to it, no matter how terrible it was?
Think of adversity as a set of weights.
We go to the gym and pump weights so we can get stronger and fitter.
We choose to do this.
We know we must push against something to be a healthier version of ourselves. We sweat, we puff, we push through, and later, we feel awesome (even if we’re a bit sore!)
We wouldn’t bother going to the gym if it was just to lie around.
It wouldn’t be worth it.
Think of adversity as a set of weights for your life.
Shit happens. Somehow we take a wrong turn.
By pushing back, we are strengthening ourselves. Adversity is the weight set we have chosen to use.
When we’re parenting teenagers, it’s a double bonus
They’re watching us deal with them. Because let’s face it, lots of the adversity we’re experiencing is at their hands! Parenting rangatahi is hard work. There’s lots of hard stuff happening, all the time.
When we look at the challenges they bring us as a learning opportunity, we are far more likely to engage in robust dialogue with them.
- To hear their side of the story.
- To stick to the facts.
- To use that knowledge to make a plan together, one we can both agree to work with going forwards.
Which is where the growth happens. Not just for us, but for them too.
For adversity coaching, get in touch here.