“Are you ok?” 

This is potentially one of the most important questions you can ever ask another person.  

Because this is important, don’t do it lightly. 

When you are stopping to ask your adolescent child if they’re ok, you will probably have a reason for asking. 

And the reason you’re asking may not be something you are entirely happy about – you may be asking them because you are wondering about their:

  • Mental health
  • Why they’re breaking up with someone
  • What happened to their last job

The conversations you are having may be hard. 

You may prefer not to ask. 

You might be worried because, what if they answer, “No.” 

Then  …

  1. You might not know what to say.
  2. You might say the wrong thing.

This is why these are hard conversations. 

And good on you for noticing it’s not going to be a run-of-the-mill conversation. 

Acknowledging that this, potentially, will be a hard conversation. It probably will be messy. And uncomfortable. 

In the same way, it could also potentially be beautiful. 

What if it turns out to be a lifesaver? 

You are their parent. You are the person your rangatahi has the longest connection with. 

That connection counts. 

So embrace the very human truth that life is messy. Conversations can be hard. And worth it. 

And know that while you are imperfectly human, your connection with another human counts. Use it. Strengthen it. Take the plunge and ask. 

Take a deep breath and show up for them. 

And here’s a resource for you, my e-book on how to have a difficult conversation. You can get free access to it here

Showing up connected, vulnerable, and prepared to have a hard conversation may be the best thing you can ever do for your adolescent.