We love our kids. We want them to do well, to be happy, and to enjoy their lives.
It doesn’t happen by magic.
It happens with great parenting.
Behind every great tween, teen or adolescent … there is a great parent.
Who loves them unconditionally, no strings attached.
- Holding boundaries with them.
- Allowing space for them to grow and explore.
- Creating the relationship they need with their rangatahi that allows for reflection and wisdom.
Being their parent begins with better boundaries
Boundaries are the foundation of every great relationship.
Boundaries with your rangatahi start with you.
A boundary is making a mark, taking a stand, and stating what is acceptable vs what is not. Think of it as a fence. Protecting the good stuff, while keeping out the unwanted parts of life.
As parents, boundary setting is our number one job.
As adolescents, boundary-pushing is their number one job
Truly, it’s biological programming at work here.
This is the time of their lives when our young people learn to push back. It’s the time of their lives when they explore how to assert themselves in the world.
As hard as it can be – you actually want them to do this with you.
As your young person grows, it is essential they are able to be themselves instead of a carbon copy of their friends, or the people they follow on social media. They need to be able to stand up for themselves in the world. To state their needs in order to get them met. To see for themselves when “No” is a great word to use.
And the place they first see this is at home. If you don’t have boundaries for them, how can you expect them to hold them for themselves?
The truth we want to keep remembering
Our tweens, teens, and adolescents are growing their brains.
Ours are grown.
When they push back, it’s not personal. It is biological programming at work.
Choose not to take their responses personally.
Don’t berate yourself for not being a better parent.
Their adolescent challenge is a learning opportunity for them, and for you.
The question is, are you ready for it?
If your answer is no, use this link to take the next step on your parenting journey.