Intrusive support is a thing. Google it and find out how destructive this can be – especially when it comes to parenting your tween, teen, or adolescent.

The cold hard reality of life is that our adolescents will make choices we don’t like. As they grow older, these choices become none of our business. 

That’s right. None. Of. Our. Business.

And we so want them to be our business. We want to offer our opinion, add our comments, and tell our adolescents just how to fix their problems. Because we’re their parent! And isn’t that our job?

Actually, unless the law requires you to be involved, then no. It is not your job. If it’s not legally required then it’s not your job AND it’s also not your problem. Or your choice. 

Trust your adolescent is having the life journey they are meant to have. The choices they are making will support the learning they need to do for themselves.

And our role as their parent is hard. We have to stand back and let them go. This child we have loved since before they were born, is out in the world. And they get to make their own choices.

Our work comes in here:

  • What am I holding onto?
  • What am I attached to?
  • What is it costing me to hold onto that attachment?
  • What is it costing my child for me to hold onto that attachment?
  • What loops can I close to release them?
  • What expectations can I remove?

The paradox is here: the more you let your adolescents go, the closer you will be. 

For those of you who crave that closeness in your relationship, stop squeezing your adolescent so hard. They’re fragile. They will break. 

Instead, work on releasing your stories. The ones that let you see your adolescent as the beautiful person they are, not the person you think they should be. 

When you choose to make a change and transform your relationship with your adolescent, I strongly suggest coaching. If what you have been doing isn’t working anymore, a coach is the best way to learn new approaches and get them successfully established and working for you. Coaching is the investment that will ripple into all areas of your life when you are ready to be the change you want to see. Click here for a connection call with me. Coaching packages are available and tailored to suit individual needs. Discover the path to change now, and transform your relationship with your tween, teen, or adolescent now.