“Teaching is mostly listening. And learning is mostly talking.” Deborah Meier

Teaching is listening. Listening is teaching. 

Learning is talking. Talking is learning. 

When you listen, you teach. You are teaching the most important knowledge of all: You teach empathy. You teach compassion. You teach non judgement. You teach critical thinking. You teach acceptance. 

We have the balance topsy-turvy.

We all think the more we talk, the more we can teach our teens. 

No. The teaching is in the listening. And by listening, I don’t mean, “Mmmm,” or “Okay,” or “Yes,” or “Sure.” That’s just space filling.

I’m talking about active, attending listening.The listening that sends a subconscious message back to your teen, “I see you. I hear you.” 

The way you listen to your adolescent is the most important parenting skill you can grow. It’s your superpower. 

When you, as the parent, listen deeply, without judgement or interruption, to your adolescent, the subconscious message your teenager receives is, “I am heard, accepted and validated.”  

This is the gift of deep listening. And it’s a skill you can master. 

When you master this skill, this one skill, it automatically passes onto your teen. The ripple effect for your whānau, for generations, is profound. 

Sign up for Teen Talk: online learning that teaches you to listen so they’ll talk.