Which, given the state of the kitchen this morning was a good thing!

Dishes, everywhere. And none of them rinsed … 

In the past, I would have been gritting my teeth with frustration as I grumpily rinsed and stacked the bl**dy dishes. 

Because no one else was about to do them. And I knew that to be true because they were all still in bed. 

And while I was clearing the bench, I would be getting all hot under the collar and thinking about my opinion of my lazy adolescents. Only adding to the whole drama that was taking place inside my head. 

By the time one of the adolescents arrived in the kitchen, I would be mad! 

And they would know:

  1. I’d be noisy with the dishes.
  2. I’d be short with them.
  3. And later that day, I’d make a sarcastic comment about their arms being painted on. 

Such a lot of drama over some dirty dishes! 

And such a lot of missed opportunities to connect with my kids. I would have missed out on the still sleepy in the morning hugs, the chance to ask how they slept, and the laughing together as we all helped to sort out the kitchen. 

I’m so glad I learned some time ago how to state my needs clearly so getting the kitchen cleaned up was no drama. 

Here’s what went down in our kitchen this morning.

Me: “When the bench is left messy, I end up cleaning up and I feel disrespected.”  That’s 15 words. Clear. To the point. Delivered in a calm tone of voice.

Them: “Sorry Mum. We’re going to get onto that this morning.”

Me: “So you’re going to get it tidied up?”

Them: “Yes, before we have breakfast.”

Me: “Awesome. I’ll make coffee while you do it. Would anyone else like a cup?”

What a difference. No drama. No-fuss. Just a clean kitchen and a respectful relationship. 

If you’d like to learn the secrets to fuss-free teenage communication that applies to so many parts of your relationship (more than a tidy kitchen) then I invite you to sign up for my online course, Teen Talk ™. It’s all about changing the way you communicate with your rangatahi and making an enormous difference in everyone’s lives. Teen Talk ™ has changed the way we rub together as a family and I’d love for your family to experience that too. 

Teen Talk ™ begins on Monday 22 November from 7 – 9 each week until 20 December. Imagine a hassle-free Christmas as you enjoy a revitalized relationship with your adolescents. Sign up at www.beautifulconversations.co.nz/courses