And one of the places they will look is at you. They can’t help it, they’re absorbing this knowledge osmosis style: simply by living it.
They’ll look at how you live your life. And they’ll take note of:
- How you look after yourself: what you eat, the way you exercise, your attitude towards sleep, how you relax.
- The amount of time you spend on social media.
- The way in which you treat yourself.
- How many friends you have and how much time you make for them.
- Ways you earn money, and ways you spend money.
- The things you say: about yourself and about others.
- If you’re present to them, or to others.
- The way you process the things that happen to you – especially when it’s a challenge or a crisis. Do they see you reflecting, and learning?
- Your organisation and juggling skills as you manage the pressures of your life.
- What an intimate relationship looks like.
That’s quite the list! Without beating yourself up, I want you to pause and reflect:
What are you teaching them?
Be reflective, what are they really learning?
Be curious, how come?
Be nosey, what could I do differently?
If you are a parent in 2021, I want you to know that the job you are doing is awesome. This is big time stepping up and you are doing your amazing best every day. Self judgement is not a useful tool when compared to the benefits of reflection and curiosity. None of us EVER get it right all the time and perfectionism is an outdated notion that has, simply, got to go.
Most importantly, Is your house a safe place for your adolescents to explore what they see happening? Do you get to have discussions with your teenagers about life? They’re so curious. There is so much for them to learn. Talk to them about what’s in your head. Think your processes out loud. They will be fascinated, and can offer you a perspective of love and acceptance. Believe it or not, your teenagers love you back as unconditionally as you love them.
If you’re thinking, “Yeah, right!” book yourself in for an exploratory coaching call with me. In the 45 minutes we spend together we will cover your parenting goals and the bigger picture. And together, we can make a plan to move you, and your family forward. The investment of $180 and 45 minutes is worthy of your family’s future.