Five Ways to Wellbeing – when it comes to growing a robust relationship with your tween, teen, or adolescent.
TAKE NOTICE / ME ARO TONU
Take notice of the things around you, and remember the simple things that give you joy – me aro tonu ki ngā mea māmā noa i ngākau harikoa ai koe.
How often do we give thanks for the things they do, the things they say, and the way in which they say it?
If you’re thinking, “They never do anything worth giving thanks for!” Then I challenge you to find something. And use it. “Thanks for closing the door.” “Thanks for brushing your teeth.” “Thanks for getting in the car.”
Be thankful for every little thing they do. Focus on the positive and the positive will grow.
GIVE / TUKUA
Give your time, your words, your presence; tukua te wā ki a koe, ō kupu, ko koe tonu.
Be there to listen. Close your mouth. Remember the natural balance of our bodies – two ears, one mouth. Act accordingly. Our rangatahi love it when we listen to them. Not only do they feel more validated and connected, but they’re waaaaay more likely to listen in return when we need them to.
BE ACTIVE / ME KORI TONU
Be active, do what you can – whāia te mea ka taea e koe, enjoy what you do – kia pārekareka tāu i whai ai, move your mood – kia pai ake ō piropiro.
If they won’t join you for a walk, take a walk for yourself. Make it an occasion and treat yourself to a coffee on the way home. Enjoy yourself and come home in a better mood.
They’ll notice …
CONNECT / ME WHAKAWHANAUNGA
Connect, talk and listen – me kōrero, me whakarongo, be there – me whakawātea i a koe, feel connected – me rongo i te whanaungatanga.
Ask questions and wait for their answer. Look at them when you’re talking to them. Be in rapport. Make time to talk.
KEEP LEARNING / ME AKO TONU
Keep learning and embrace new experiences, awhitia te wheako hou, see opportunities – kimihia ngā ara hou, surprise yourself – me ohorere koe i a koe anō.
Let your teens be your teacher.
I am constantly amazed at what they know and are prepared to share and teach me when I let them.
If you liked these tips, sign up for our weekly pānui at www.beautifulconversations.co.nz