1. My rangatahi is sitting exams. How can I best help them?

By letting them get on and do the work they need to do to pass. They will know what they need to do, and if they don’t? Encourage them to reach out to their teachers. “I don’t know what to do,”  is not an acceptable excuse. 

Have  a conversation and ask them,  “What  can I do to best support you?” Listen to, and act on, their ideas.

If it feels like it is too much for them, encourage them to do the most important bit. Then the next bit, and the next bit … As the saying goes, ‘Roman wasn’t built in a day.’ Nor will their study be done in a day. It will be done one piece at a time. 

Keep out of their school business. It’s their work, not yours. 

Be their chief supporter and encourage them with love, joy, and buoyancy. Help them to feel good about themselves. It’s amazing how much work you get done after you’ve been having a light-hearted exchange, sharing a joke, or recalling something funny. 

Notice their efforts and encourage them to keep going, Acknowledge the short time period they have and their great attitude. 

Take care of the basics:

  • Make sure there are plenty of healthy snacks and easy-to-make nutritious lunches.
  • Model drinking plenty of water yourself to keep everyone’s brains hydrated.
  • Set up a study nook outside where they can have plenty of non-direct sunlight as they study. 
  • Tidy up on sleep hygiene for everyone. All night cramming isn’t a useful option, our brains work better with a good night’s sleep.
  • Encourage them to move around during the day: movement breaks can help brains process and absorb knowledge.

Their results are just that: results. They are not the sum total of your rangatahi. Your young person is much, much more than their results. Tell them you love them often and help them see they are a complete, beautiful person. 

Are you in a position to be your rangatahi’s best supporter during exams? Consider signing up for a coaching package to enrich your parenting toolkit. Visit www.beautifulconversations.co.nz for more information, or book in for a 15-minute chat about your options at https://calendly.com/melaniemedland/quick-chat and step into the parenting role that will initiate the change you want to see in your family.

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