Calling all parents of teenagers, especially those parents who have teenagers experiencing anxiety and/or depression.
STOP WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO ‘FIX’ YOUR CHILD.
Stop waiting for the school to do something. They won’t.
Stop waiting for the Doctor to do something. They may, it will come from a bottle.
Stop expecting the counselor to help. It will take more than four free sessions.
Stop blaming.
Stop being a victim.
Step up and take 100% responsibility for your child as you guide them out of the dark.
The spot your rangatahi lives in can take them to some deep, dark places. Places they may not return from easily.
Keep searching. You are a piece of the solution. Especially the long-term solution. Your support, guidance, and encouragement will enable them to find the tiny tweak that makes the biggest difference.
Five Immediate Actions to Take:
- Talk (deeply) and listen to your teenager. Take the time to find out what they really like and dislike, the things they love, and the things they fear. This isn’t a single conversation. It will take time, time you will be repaid in spades. Make the time now. This single action will send them the strongest message of, “I see you, I care about you, I love you.”
- Get to know their friends. Make space in your life for your teenager’s friends. Network your butt off when it comes to their friends.
- Offer to drive them places. Don’t ever talk on these trips though. Concentrate on the driving, keep your mouth closed and listen to the gossip.
- Be comfortable having their friends stay. This is a great opportunity to set boundaries from a place of love and to have spontaneous conversations about small things that will, over time, lead to big things.
- Be available. Remind your teen constantly to, “Just ring me if you need me.” And when they do ring, be available with love.
Your children are only teenagers for a short time. We have them with us for 18 summers. That’s not long.
Use this time to deepen your relationship with your teenager. And make the most of all the good stuff that comes with the teenage years.
If this post resonates with you, visit www.beautifulconversations.co.nz/courses and have a look at ‘Teen Talk.’ This course was designed by me, a busy mum, for other busy parents and it will change the way you communicate with your teenagers.
Promise.